The Secure Womanizer
LOCATION: In the metro in Singapore
This story is all about my ego getting mixed with a bit of too much of alcohol…
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Saying that I ENTIRELY acknowledge the fact that terrorizing his –hot- religious South American flatmates was not ONE of my smartest moves. But soberly speaking, I am not a total blonde bimbo who can neither hold her hormones nor a political conversation – Which is by the way my education and professional background…
He will treat ALL women – From the supermarket cashier, passing by the hot barmaid, to us- like if we were
This story is all about my ego getting mixed with a bit of too much of alcohol…
I had just gotten dumped by this intellectual, Scottish, PhD research assistant. I had been quite hurt by this break up; Therefore I had decided to look for the contrary of my ex. I was in a “it is all about the body not the brain” dating phase.
The universe was on my side. That is when I randomly met my professional athlete.
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I was off to a business meeting and was waiting for the train. I passed by this jaw-dropping gorgeous man.
At that moment, literally all my reproductive cells were dancing the lambada, shaking their booty.
I threw at him my biggest smile; We entered the train and did not stop looking at each other. While I was walking to change metro, I was repeating to myself: Don’t look back , don’t look back! I get in the train, and just before the doors closed, he slid in.
We exchanged numbers and decided to meet two days later.
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In Singapore, all the fanciest bars are on rooftops. We had decided to check out the new one- There is always a “new” one… To act fancy I presume, he had booked a table at the restaurant. The cheapest meal was 170 US dollars- I beg your pardon?? !!
I like to go Dutch on my first dates :I like to feel I
owe NOTHING to the man.
And well… I guess am also a bit blasé when it comes to all these dudes who just splash their money at your face, but who end up being intellectually vacant and/or having no sense of humor.
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I told him that I would prefer just to just go for drinks, I was not hungry.
We chatted, joked about how he chased me on the train. I straight away asked him how old he was.
He said that he was in his late twenties. I let out a sigh of relief , explaining to him that my friends and I had concluded that either he must be very young or extremely self-confident...
He turned out to be both …Sigh…
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Indeed, the next day I did what every woman who respects herself should do :
I googled him.
And ahhh!!! Turned out he is seven years younger than MOI… Seven years !
I am not a cougar… Or am I?
Then again, his body would make any woman drool…And this was maybe my last chance to touch a six pack in flesh and not in tin… I decided to go for it !
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I seriously suspect that the universe considered that it had been kind enough with me and it should spice things up. My beautiful toy boy broke his knee. But young men are so wonderful : Even with half their body paralyzed, they are able to do miracles … ! Rock it baby!
As I did not only wish to fulfill him sexually but as well intellectually, I lent him an historical book retracing in a humoristic way the French and English hatred.
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The following weekend, I got a message from him on facebook saying : “I broke my phone babe”. It would have been fine if the message had not been sent via facebook mobile… His flatmates do not own any smartphones; They use the normal internet connection. And he was not physically capable to leave the house… He had sent it from his own phone…Urgh… I pretended not to notice and answered him a casual message.
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For several days I had not received any news from him, therefore I decided to go to his place and say hello. I mean he had told me that his door was always open for me. Now this could sound sweet and caring
But unfortunately, I got this brilliant idea in the middle of a girl’s night out in which I was not being very responsible with my consumption of alcohol – In other words I was binge drinking. So classy !
I took a taxi and told the cabbie to wait for me - I had a feeling he was not going to be at home. I entered by the back door, climbed up the stairs, and tried to open his door … But it was locked?!
As I was full of great ideas that night, I decided to barge into his flatmate’s room who was lying in bed half naked, peacefully reading.
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As I was full of great ideas that night, I decided to barge into his flatmate’s room who was lying in bed half naked, peacefully reading.
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That in itself would not have been so bad, but his flatmates are very religious Brazilians and do not speak English very well…
I asked where was the womanizer –Er…What was I thinking?? Of course, he is out, having fun with friends and women…
I started to weep and asked for my book back . When I am drunk, my French accent comes out very strong, so it must have sounded like this: “Where iz maye bookE… I wantE maye bookE baaackE!! “
The title of this all so requested book characterized
“à la perfection” what I was being. It is called :
“A 1000 years of annoying French”.
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I can’t remember how long I stayed there pestering his flatmates… Oh my… Oh my…
Eventually, I decided to leave- Good Lord. I went to sleep, only to jerk up in the morning with
the “horror”… !
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I called up all my friends from France, Singapore, South Korea, UK … and told them the story… They thought it was Hi-LA-RIOUS! And kind of embarrassing given the fact that he trained just in front of my condominium…
I got my book back two weeks later with a little letter … It was very sweet of him considering my performance of an annoying French “bunny boiler”!
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Bottom line:
Dating a professional athlete has some obvious advantages –The body, the body and … Hum the body.
But, c’mon let’s be honest it is NOT a cliché to say that professional sportsmen are not the smartest people on earth…
But, c’mon let’s be honest it is NOT a cliché to say that professional sportsmen are not the smartest people on earth…
Saying that I ENTIRELY acknowledge the fact that terrorizing his –hot- religious South American flatmates was not ONE of my smartest moves. But soberly speaking, I am not a total blonde bimbo who can neither hold her hormones nor a political conversation – Which is by the way my education and professional background…
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Characteristics of a secure womanizer.
He LOVES the chase! And every part of his body is capable to chase, and … Anything.
He LOVES the chase! And every part of his body is capable to chase, and … Anything.
He LOVES women – And they LOVE him back.
He will treat ALL women – From the supermarket cashier, passing by the hot barmaid, to us- like if we were
UNIQUE.
He has LOADS of guy and women friends
He has LOADS of guy and women friends
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The revenge
Haha THE revenge… Let’s face it with this kind of man your revenge will not be a masterpiece… He has the upper-hand because at the moment you are thinking of him , he is already taking care of another woman.
You will need to patiently wait , to NEVER call him nor text him …And one night, out of the blue, he will give you a booty call . And it will take all your willpower to repress your needs and say NON. When my womanizer did it , I was dating someone else– the insecure ladies man- and just for a second I considered it.
Why does this always happen? As soon as you have moved on , an ex pops back into your life? Oh well, c’est la vie !
Haha THE revenge… Let’s face it with this kind of man your revenge will not be a masterpiece… He has the upper-hand because at the moment you are thinking of him , he is already taking care of another woman.
You will need to patiently wait , to NEVER call him nor text him …And one night, out of the blue, he will give you a booty call . And it will take all your willpower to repress your needs and say NON. When my womanizer did it , I was dating someone else– the insecure ladies man- and just for a second I considered it.
Why does this always happen? As soon as you have moved on , an ex pops back into your life? Oh well, c’est la vie !
Fin
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